Download PDF The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking By Oliver Burkeman
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Ebook About What if ‘positive thinking’ and relentless optimism aren’t the solution to the happiness dilemma, but part of the problem? Oliver Burkeman turns decades of self-help advice on its head and paradoxically forces us to rethink our attitudes towards failure, uncertainty and death. It’s our constant efforts to avoid negative thinking that cause us to feel anxious, insecure and unhappy. What if happiness can be found embracing the things we spend our lives trying to escape? Wise, practical and funny, The Antidote is a thought-provoking, counter-intuitive and ultimately uplifting read, celebrating the power of negative thinking.‘Burkeman has written some of the most truthful and useful words on happiness to be published in recent years’ GuardianBook The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking Review :
An excellent book, particularly for people experiencing "existential angst" (my definition being that they feel depressed and anxious about their lives, the state of the world in general, and their place in it). The author basically examines the belief in positive thinking and the mental denial of failure, and points out the extent to which such beliefs frequently lead do NOT lead to happiness, but to feelings of disappointment and self-blame. He then embarks on an easily read examination of a series of philosophies, philosophers, and research sources to discover how one can more effectively find tranquility by embracing uncertainty and acceptance of what may be - whatever it may be.The extraordinarily well-read author's path leads us from Seneca and the Stoics, past some disadvantages of goal-setting to Ulrich Tolle and the benefits of insecurity. He pays a rather entertaining visit to a museum dedicated to products that failed in the marketplace, the "survivor bias," and a discussion about the widespread avoidance of thoughts about death. Each of these is a starting point for his very cogent thoughts and research about a specific aspect of the journey on which he is taking the reader.I must admit to having been somewhat of a convert to the author's philosophy before picking up the book, so that there is some bias here, but I truly believe that most Westerners would benefit greatly from reading this book slowly and thoughtfully. True, there was a point in mid-read when either my mind wandered, or the author did not clearly explain the connection between the current topic and his main line of thought. However, he (or I) returned well before the end and left me extremely glad to have read it.In his Epilogue, Burkeman uses two expressions with which I was not familiar but which were particularly interesting to me: First, "negative capability," reportedly coined by the poet John Keats who explained it as "when [one] is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason..." Second is a word that may have the same meaning, acceptance of "opensure," which is the opposite of closure. As a counselor and coach I have often thought that if people could end their search for certainty and/or closure they would be much happier, and I am pleased to find a word that describes that state.The very thoroughly researched text ends with an extensive bibliography, so that the curious can go to sources quite easily.I recommend Oliver Burkeman's "The Antidote" to just about anyone whose search for certainty, or belief in positive thinking as the path to happiness, have not actually led them to the tranquility that they seek. That would probably be most people. This is one of the few books that's ever really touched my life and that I won't just drop off at the used bookstore. It's blunt, but also at times esoteric and philosophical, with a smattering of good humor and personal anecdote.The "cult of optimism" is exposed in this little book, with motivational speakers, positive affirmations, and the "power" of optimism being revealed as being counterproductive. Throughout, the author illustrates that an over-emphasis on positivity can have contrary, and even dangerous, consequences. This fact is revealed as the chapters discuss the idea of happiness (whatever that may mean) being achieved through "negative capability": the ability to embrace uncertainty and insecurity, to be accustomed to failure, and to just stop TRYING so darn hard to achieve happiness when all of happiness is relative.Drawing from Ancient Greek and modern Stoicism, Zen Buddhism, sociology, psychology, philosophy, and even "The Matrix" (yes, the movie), the reader is invited to question his or her own views on what happiness is, what is it that makes us happy, and whether achieving it is worth it. Maybe "happy" is a too-neat, too-pretty, and too-packaged word to encompass the human experience that we all desire. We're invited to not judge situations as good or bad, to consider how our mind possesses preconceived notions of positive vs. negative, and then decide how we want to live with that realization.The "meaning" of life has never been understood, and this book allows theists, atheists, and agnostics to safely approach the conversation from their own belief system. There are no rules in this book. It's NOT a self-help book and doesn't purport to revolutionize your life. It simply invites you to ask the big questions and consider that life is just a messy and weird thing, that "happiness" (that giddy, elevated feeling we often think of) may not be all it's cracked up to be, that maybe what we truly mean in the search for happiness is something more like "tranquility". 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